I tried Amazon meal kits and I do not regret it

I would like to say that this experience has started off magically. I'm an avid amazon prime member and I've been pretty hip to blue apron so when Amazon got into the meal kit game...I was more than enchanted to embark on this journey.

So, I started this adventure at about midnight last night, and I was SHOCKED to see that I could have my meals delivered to my door by 6 AM EASTERN STANDARD TIME THE NEXT DAY. I had no need for this, I don't leave my apt until 7 for work and honestly it would be far more convenient for it to arrive in the afternoon. But because I questioned the wizardry of this unusually expedient service, I chose 6am.

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please.

This food.

Arrived promptly at my door--not the lobby or the porch of my apartment building NAY! My front door. On the second floor. That amazon driver walked up steps and for that I am forever grateful. Bless him. Bless you, Brian (I assume).

I had so little faith in this wizardry that by the time I opened my front door I already had an uber waiting, and then I saw it! and in shock I brought it in and the cat escaped and it was a whole thing.

I texted my roommate to take a picture of the bag for this blog and she read my text, responded to it, and did not do that. It was a nice bag, not really that memorable tbh. I'll tell you what though, it was a hell of a lot more convenient and way less heavy with much less waste than blue apron, hello fresh, and plated (not sure if plated is still a thing). I'm really into subscription services don't judge me it's 2017 and people are the worst.

Tonight we shall have burgers.

So I'm on step 1 and I'd like to say this is a bit advanced for me. It was just expected that I would have a box grater? I have a regular grater which I think is a phenomenal achievement for someone who woke up at 3am this morning to eat pizza lunchables. But do I use a regular grater to grate a tomato? I don't.. I have no idea. The holes seem too small...I'm going to mince it.

Stay tuned.

Okay it's a bit presumptive to assume I would know that "breadcrumbs" means the bag labeled "panko"

That is not intuitive, amazon wizard.

So I started this venture but I must be honest and admit that my roommate finished it. Apparently I was about to burn it to all hell and she saved the day in the truest kentucky style that brought us together in the first place.

WOAH WOAH WOAH HEY LITTLE DUDES THIS IS REAL GOOD

It doesn't look good, I know. But I put a lot of shit in those burgs. I even grated an onion for it. An onion... grated! There is half a tomato in those bad boys and that is the truth. Y'all I did add the bun and cheese (and jalapenos and brown mustard and special butter) but I tasted it before AND IT HOLDS ITS OWN! It should have come with buns though. I didn't ask to be healthy amazon, I just asked to be fed.

I tried to take this picture with natural light so you could really see the work that I put into taking this picture with natural light.

But look y'all got a special treat that is the most magical lion in the world just snoozing beneath my masterpiece.

Long story short, I highly recommend.

I hope I don't have to boycott amazon on principle anytime soon because I am their truest fan.